i still remember what you said

well. i know you meant what you said to me from last time. but i too mean what i said to you too.

hearing this line made me froze

i asked. so monday was yh right.

yup

that made me sank

you like him right

yea. a little

my heart shattered

he likes you to right.

well yea.

i totally knew it was gone.

you said you didn't wanna hurt me by going into a relationship with me. but you still hurt me

i know you felt bad. you could tell i was so down.

i putted on a strong front. i said i was alright la. i still joked with you

but deep inside you and i know i was dying inside.

i told you i had to go home early.

well no.

i wondered around

i went back to rooftop garden

took out my yoyo. and played.

i still remember how we studied and then you came with me to my yo yo meet.

i love you. i still do

why the fuck am i tearing still

i had time to reflect. reflect what?

I STILL LIKE YOU BABE.

the words. he is actually my perfect guy.

its still etched deep in me.

i can't forget.

fuck it. i miss you

3 fucking years

BAY SIN SIANG KENNETH WHY WERE YOU SO FUCKING BLIND TO NOT SEE HER ALL THIS YEARS. WHEN YOU FINALLY REALLY REALISE SHES THAT, SHE LIKES THE OTHER GUY THAT YOU THOUGHT SHE LIKED ALL THE WHILE WHEN SHE DIDN'T AND NOW WHEN SHE DOES YOU, THEN YOU LIKE HER

FUCKING ASSHOLE

YES I'M CONTRADICTORY

FUCK YOU , FUCK MYSELF. FUCK OFF

heartbroken.

why isit when you told me you like him

i already knew it.

i was prepared to face it

but still i broke down

yes you saw me tear infront of you

i heard you cry over the phone before

i still broke down

i'm strong.

had lunch with you. i knew something was bound to go wrong today.

i was right. okay i know i won't get to be with you.

i know you like him

i know whatever we had talk in the past won't be the same.

things change people change

i'm sorry.

i'm the one who caused you to feel sad at that time

not telling you i got a girlfriend

i'm sorry

one of the reason why i wanna travel back in time is to amend this mistake

i wanna takecare of your still

you thought me how to stand up and move on

you were there for me

i was so fucking blind to not see you there for me for all this years

i am regretting

i'm regretting it big time.

its too late for regrets

its too late to want you back

i'm sorry i didn't see your feelings in the past

i really want you back

i know its not possible

if i wait for a few more years will it work?

i remember last year during appreciation dinner.

we were still so close. i don't fucking know what to think anymore

i just wanna sleep. i wanna wake up and have everything back to the same as it used to be. just the two of us. i went roof top garden today. i remember you came with me for the yoyo meet. i went there. i sat there. i thought about you. i regret. i actually cried after leaving you. you won't know it. i know you're feeling bad now. you felt bad since just now. but i rather face the pain now then later on. i hope this set back won't pull me down for End sems. i can't fail.

i don't feel close to you like last time. looking at your picture everyday

i really fucking miss you. i really do. it won't change.

today you do know i still have many things to say. you saw my tweets. you gave me empty promises as well. but i didn't. i remember for asia pacific. i told you i'll be using the song we both used to since when we first met. i did. i did it good.

fuck it.

i miss you

but i still press on.

but why does my heart keep telling me to hold on

yes i'm a fool. i can be irritating. hahas. sometimes i'm there laughing to myself. what a fucking fool i am. i actually liked you oh so much in this 3 years. i got to thank your sister. well i was talking to your sister always till one day she passed the phone to you. that was when i started talking to you always. you still believed in my like how i've always been believing in you. when you didn't get into that school you always wanted, the school where i helped you with your audition and even went all the way the audition with you. it was just last year. a month later you called me. you were crying. i had rehersals for dance. i wanted to go over to your place so bad. ah yes. everything is coming back now. i wanted to go over to you so bad. this was almost the same when you didn't do well for o's. you scolded me off cos you thought i was bugging you for your results. but i didn't. i knew you did that in a moment of anger. cos i knew the girl whom you were. i know how you are like. i did not put a grudge there. i was just so afraid of losing you. so afraid. i though it was like gone.. well a few days later you texted to apologise. i didn't hold anything on you. i was just glad you texted again.

sometimes when i get random texts from you. i will just smile. and when your texts come with smiles. it just lightens up my mood. yea so what if i'm changing my yoyos to the colours you like. i'm fine with it. i just want you to happy. to be exact. i just wanna be the guy to give you that happiness you deserve. i should have done this a year ago.

i still sometimes walk down esplanade. through the esplanade city link where the dancers dance. i still go there to play yoyo. i miss you. i miss both of us playing yo yo at there. sometimes when i'm at spinworkx. i kinda miss being with you there.

i really like you

but is it too late...

moved on.

but now i know its babe that i like. 3 years. 3 whole years and i was so fucking ignorant.

i'm afraid you might move on. but i don't know if its for the better if you move on or not

i find a need only to express my thoughts here only when i really need to type it out somewhere.

its been almost 3 years since i know you. i liked you from that point of time. its been that long. the feeling has been on and off , on and off. i really know now i like you. sometimes you might seem a little cold to me. but i know. i get you. i know you well enough. you told me stuff before. your sister knows i like you. she tells me what she tells you. i think you tell her too. so its a fact i can't hide. i really like you.